Retro Spring


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

how we got here -- part 1

I get asked a lot how we go to the point of adopting a special needs child so I feel like it deserves an answer!  But to get to that answer you have to go back about three years...well maybe a little further than that.

About three years ago I was working a crazy job that had me traveling all over the country pretty much five days a week.  My 28th birthday was rapidly approaching and I was lonely.  One day I complained to a girl-friend that I never met any nice guys and I really was ready to be married and think about having a family.  At that point I wasn't sure I wanted kids, but I knew I wanted the option.  So the friend I was complaining to offered to set me up on blind dates...50 to be exact!  The idea was I would go on one date every weekend when I was home until I found someone I wanted to see again.

I went on exactly three dates and didn't want to see any of them a second time.  Then some other folks got wind of the project and I was "introduced" to Wes.  I put that in quotes because Wes was working in Atlanta at the time and we didn't meet face to face for four months.  But during those four months we spoke on a the phone a bit, ok, A LOT.  We got to know each other very well and decided we needed to meet.  Our first date was three days long! We spent Labor Day weekend 2008 getting to know each other in Nashville. It was during that weekend we shared our first I Love You, and actually decided to get married.  Crazy, huh?!?!  It gets crazier....we got engaged at Thanksgiving and married the following Easter.  So in less than a year we went from occasional phone conversations to marriage!  During all those months of phone conversations we discussed having a family and I still wasn't totally convinced, but I knew that it was something he wanted and I was willing to consider it. Ultimately I knew he was made to be an excellent father and I wanted to be the mother of his kids.

Fast forward through our first year of marriage...two job changes, one of us moving, continued travel for work, two dogs, etc!  We decided on our first anniversary that it was time to try to have a baby.  Two months later we announced to our families on Father's Day 2010 we were pregnant!  It was exciting for exactly one week.  The following Friday I went to the ER and was told I was having a miscarriage.  We were devastated.

A few months later in September we found out I was pregnant again.  This time we took our time telling people, waiting quite a while. (For those of you who really know me you can imagine how hard this was -- I tell everything I know!)   Thanksgiving day, when I was 13 weeks along, we felt comfortable to tell the world and posted our happy news on facebook.

At 16 weeks we went for my check-up and my doctor agreed to do a quick ultrasound so we could tell everyone what the gender was for Christmas.  Baby wasn't super cooperative, but we were 90% sure it was a girl.  I was excited, Wes openly wanted a boy and wasn't too thrilled, but within a day was coming around to the idea.  That was a Thursday.  The following Monday, December 20th (this is a date I will never forget -- partially because it's my brother's birthday) I felt weird.  Couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I thought I had a bladder infection, which is pretty common in pregnant women.  I called the doc's office and asked if I could come by to find out for sure, and they said I could and they would do a quick doppler to hear the heartbeat while I was there.  As you can understand I was very nervous.  The nurse couldn't find the heartbeat, so we went into the sonogram room.  As soon as she put the wand on my belly I could tell there was no longer a heartbeat.  Our baby was mysteriously gone at 16 weeks and 4 days.  I didn't have any sort of infection, and there was no obvious reason for a loss so late.


  1. So proud of your strength and faith...what an amazing story!!! Love and miss you!

  2. you should write a book! There are many women who suffer the word miscarriage and loss without ever realizing how many of us belong to the same club! I am proud to call you friend. Cindy Coelman