Not only is October Down Syndrome Awareness Month, but today, October 15th, is Pregnancy Loss & Remembrance Day. If you have read any of our back story you realize that the path which brought us to Danny includes the loss of two pregnancies during 2010. The first was very early, but very much wanted at 6 weeks. Our second loss (equally wanted, and a daughter) was at 16 weeks right before Christmas. Not a day goes by that I don't think of these two babies and what they mean.
A few days ago I was thinking how strange it was that I would have had a daughter who was four and a half months old at this point. How strange that honestly, I can't imagine what that would be like. What I can imagine is that sometime in the next six months or so Danny will come home with us. He will be 4 then. How different it will be than what I truly expected my life to be at this point. Do I wish that one (both isn't possible) of those babies we conceived was with us? Absolutely. But do I also have dreams for our son, who probably wouldn't be in our future without those losses? There is no doubt!
So as I cry, I thank God for the experience of those two losses, because I know that we are on His path for us. I also pray that His path includes biological children for us, someday. And today, I pray that our babies are looking down and proud of us and excited to see their brother in our home soon.
Jessica, you children in heaven are looking down at you in love and pride. I'll bet they're telling my kids "see my mom down there? She rocks! She's got a heart the size of Texas...no, bigger!" I love you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteWe too lost a baby last year. And because of that loss we were ready when we found RR. God's ways are so different, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteGrieving, hoping, and praying with you.